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Then were on again off again miserable for the next five years. After that ended, I spent some time remembering how to be me. I had warped myself into whatever shape fit my ex’s likes and dislikes just to keep the relationship smooth (Ha). I still found myself with prejudices I didn’t remember having. It took time to remember how to be honest with myself. I found a few of my old insecurities creeping in as I did, but with age came an increased ability to face and address my fears. Irrational. Boredom eventually led me to focus on the outside world. At first, I feared there would be nothing of interest, but then I spotted two horses standing in a nearby field. With nothing else to do, I focused my attention on them and waited for them to do something. Unfortunately, they seemed content just standing there. Fortunately, my high level of boredom quickly led me to fall back on my imagination. I started by picturing them approaching until they could get no closer to the car without. ’ I said. I took my beer over and sat down. I chose the chair that put my back to the wall again. A big biker-looking dude at the table noted this and grinned. ‘Good, I like a careful man.’ ‘5 card draw is the game.’ said the dealer. ‘Nothing wild. $5 ante, table stakes.’ I nodded and took a couple of hundred from my wallet. I could see the dealer practically drool when he saw the cash. ‘Deal ’em.’ I said. I lost the first hand to a full house. Won the second with a straight flush, and the game. I'm justjealous that they're bigger than mine, that bitch." Umm, OK. Well, umm, thanks again." You are so welcome. By the way, what's your name? I want to make surewe request you bring our food every time we order from your place."I'm not sure if he was more excited about the potential of seeing meagain or of the huge tips he's gotten from me, but he beamed at thethought. "It's Barry, ma'am, thank you so much. That's very kind ofyou." I'm always happy to reward great service," I said, and.
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