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I had traveled just over 13 miles through the jungle from my entry point. Any closer, and there was a danger that I would have tripped some sort of warning device. The trek had not been difficult, just tiresome. I did have to discourage a snake-like carnivore that tried to eat me, but I took care of that problem by jamming my right arm down its throat and activating the flame thrower. It was quickly discouraged by the 9,000 degree plasma my weapon emitted. That damned snake was over 50 feet. We fired up the joint and passed it to Candy, she took a big hit and mellowed out without even a cough, “Maybe she will feel more at ease if we took our shirts off Frank” Mike said with a smile as he passed the smoke back to Candy who’s eyes lit up at the suggestion.“Wow!” she said as we peeled off our shirts, “You two have such great bodies, such a shame” she said softly as she eyed us up and down, if only she knew we weren’t gay but she may soon find out Mike does seem to do a good joint and. Not only that, but not even a beard shadow. I was jealous, and I knew right then and there what I wanted for Christmas, and I was not thinking about my two front teeth.I don't know why, but finding Santa was a crossdresser didn't bother me for a moment, in fact it seemed almost logical. There are no nosy neighbors at the North Pole, and you can keep the curtains open or take a walk in the neighborhood without fear of being seen. What with working only one day a year there is ample time to dress. In the disturbed snow in front lay a naked woman, arms held over her head by a huge man who was threatening her with a large knife. A second man was standing between her legs and pulling down his pants. "It's them!" Rachel gasped."They're dead!" I replied as we pulled to a stop and took aim.I put my selector for automatic and grinned as I saw Rachel do the same.I reminded her to breathe slowly and heard her mutter something about teaching dogs to suck eggs.Without further words, we pulled.
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